The Twelve Days of Guy Town Christmas, Day Thirteen (The Lagniappe)

December 24, 2016 § Leave a comment

On the thirteenth day of Christmas (1894): “forty sports a’fighting, twelve worthy jurors, eleven half seas over, mud to the 10th power, nine shades of grey, an 8% solution, seven strips of bacon, sharp 6 o’clock Sunday morning, $5 fine with costs, four cut-up caballeros, three maudlin lines of poetry, two fighting drunks … and a pungent suit hanging from the police station clothes tree.”

(December 25, 1894)

EVERYBODY JAGGED.

The Austin Police Arrest About 40 Sports for Fighting Last Night.

“With the first approach of darkness last night quite a large number of the youths of the city, the old sports, and the strangers from the forks of the creek began swallowing red water while they twisted their thumbs over their fingers.

“As the hours drifted leisurely by midst the din of a Christmas Eve celebration the individuals in question imbibed more freely, their thumbs were whirled at a more rapid pace and the result was that within a few hours there was no man on earth big enough to lick them. Inasmuch as they were all of the same opinion it was but natural that the matter should be put to a test and the result was fights without number.

“An enumeration of these Corbett [“Gentleman” Jim Corbett, the boxer -ed.] engagements would neither instruct nor entertain the readers of the Statesman, but as a matter of general information it is well to know that up to 1 o’clock this morning the police had swooped in about 40 would-be pugilists, who will now have to answer to the recorder tomorrow morning for their overindulgence.

“Some of these names are well known in Austin, while others represent the worthy sons of toil who fell by the wayside and succeeded in getting into jail. The long and the short of the matter was that the major portion of Austin’s sporting and would-be sporting element was on an enormous jag last night and the police force had their hands full arresting them. They succeeded in scooping in some 40 of these fighters in addition to quite a bunch of gamblers that they captured on East Sixth street about midnight last night while enjoying the pleasure of a game.”

Merry Christmas, Guy Town style, y’all.

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